This is a blog that I did not mean to write. I had another blog planned for today…but in true real mum life a lot of things went sideways today and I have not got it quite finished….along with a lot of other things, dishes included.
Our big boy woke at 4.20am this morning.
How is that even possible? But try getting a four year old to go back to bed at that hour right?!!
So I knew the day was going to go sideways before it had even begun.
I also needed to teach a class which I do not normally do on a Monday AND students were really struggling with an upcoming assessment.
My hubby was also feeling a bit under the weather so I needed to give him a break and wrangle both monkeys into bed on my own – he is doing tomorrow night on his own so this is just what we do to help share the load.
By the time I sat down again to work I was shattered both physically and also mentally.
Normally I push through but tonight I was just feeling more flat than normal. Probably the 4.20am start and the some of the stress from the day. The work I needed to get through seemed pretty insurmountable and I had that nagging which was saying ‘how is there still more to do when I have worked hard all day and been up at the crack of dawn?’.
I thought about the message I had left with my VIP group this morning – about giving yourself permission to do something for you.
So tonight I chose to do just that.
I gave myself permission to just work through some of the urgent things that had come up over the day, and to instead finish writing the blog in the morning when I was more fresh and could enjoy it.
I chose to let go of being perfect, of having it all together.
These words just seemed to pour out so I just wanted to share this right away with you. In this photo, with no filter it is literally as I am – at my work desk aka the kitchen table with a bench full of dishes and that strange black cord is from filming the recipe of the week earlier today.
It can be so hard at times when all we see on social media is the ‘perfect side’.
This side – the tired (exhausted) side where you are having an internal battle between so many pressing needs – including your own…how do you show that on social media?
So I am writing it.
Eating a chocolate cup cake (ok two chocolate cup cakes), finding my sanity, giving myself permission to just be so very not perfect and let go.
P.S the cup cakes are amazing and you will get the recipe tomorrow.
Xxx The very not perfect Dr Julie Bhosale