It has been nearly a month from when I handed in the manuscript to my book. Since then things have flown by at lightning speed. We kicked off our National Starting Solids tour and had events in Auckland, Hamilton and we are in Wellington is this weekend. Following this we have two more events in Tauranga and Christchurch before preparing for the second half of the year. At the same time, everything that got put on the back burner while writing my book has came flooding in AND the university semester has kicked off as well.
We have gone from one gear right into another!
More over, this book gig is far from being done and dusted! While the writing is complete we are at the stage of pulling it all together – putting my vision into reality. This is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.
My first cook book we self-published. This time the process is completely different as we are going through a publisher so it is very much a step into the unknown. Like with taking on anything new, doubt and fear is kicking in. Part of the next phase is to organise all the ‘visuals’ for the book including a photo shoot. This is no mean feat! Photographer, stylist, mums and babies to take part, a location among other things are all needing to be organised. Not to mention we are doing this on a shoe-string budget. Maybe by book five this will all be second nature but right now I feel like I am stumbling around with it all!
Plus everything is squeezed into a very full schedule. This week alone I have two speaking gigs and the shoot is on Tuesday so need to make sure everything is sorted before then. I have pressing academic deadlines to meet and projects to keep making sure are being ticked over.
Not forgetting my most important job of all – being mum to two small little humans with very big needs!
The pull to be overwhelmed is very strong.
There is a part of me that would really like to just go to bed and pull the covers over my head and just pretend that this all does not exist.
Of course this is not what I really want, but when I am tired (I am always tired) and the kids are needing me at the back of mind I have all of this ticking away it can just seem so impossible; like a running race that never seems to end.
But this is where the rubber meets the road. It’s not my first big ‘project’ or challenge I have taken on. It’s certainly not the first time I have been at a pressure point, nor will it be the last.
This is what I call game-face time.
The way I see it – I have two choices. Option one go to bed and pull the covers over my head.
Or option two….
Pull on my big girl pants, say hello to all my fears and step up.
The great thing about being a mum is that option one is never an option. Option two it is.
Stepping up means knowing that it is not a matter of if things will fall apart or not get done – it is a matter of when and how can I mediate this? How can I minimise that damage and prioritise things? And how do I keep operating in full form? I know that I push the boundaries of how much work I do, and the amount of sleep I get but that is the name of the game. That is the reality of business and an academic career with children. If I do not push things how will I know what I am capable of? What I hope to inspire others to be capable of?
This is my dream and by darn I will do everything I can to fulfil on it.
It’s game-face time and I am ready – feeling the fear but doing it anyway….
And when I can’t, or when I feel that pull to get overwhelmed, those two little beautiful humans that just go about every day with no fear what so ever, are there to remind me that it is worth holding on a bit longer.
Book come at me!
xxx Dr Julie Bhosale