The coming of the new year is a time we set a lot of new goals. Less work, warm months (or cold months sorry Northern Hemisphere!), family and Christmas all contribute to this being a natural time of reflection. When it comes to goal setting and news years resolutions there are a lot of practical strategies around how do this is. I have actually previously written a blog on this – it is actually quite an interesting read as I did this at the start of 2015 – 37 weeks pregnant with Smushie and facing the last year of my thesis or as I aptly called it the ‘Mr Everest of the academic world in a storm’.
But what about if you just do not know what you really want or even how to allow yourself to dream of what you really want?
As mums we are so programmed to forget us, to put ourselves last, if at all. When our dreams have been shattered or perhaps the daily grind of life just feels so never ending – the fatigue, the work, the bills, the children’s demands….we can forget to dream. I know because I have struggled with this too, even with setting up our goals for this year.
The last two years have been really challenging. If I had a dollar for every time I said to my husband – that’s it I am quiting everything and taking the boys out of daycare – well I would be a millionaire by now! When ever I thought about this year – all I wanted for the next 12 months to not have the same challenges as the last two years. But I knew this was my fear talking, not my dreams.
So how do you get back in check with your dreams? I believe first you need to know that where ever you are is exactly where you are meant to be. I know it can be hard, especially when it is so easy to compare ourselves to others (if you have not read an earlier blog of mine ‘Dare to be Different‘ you may find this helpful). Secondly you need to give yourself permission to dream – that it is ok to do this, that it is ok if you want something more or a little different.
Again you may find some resistance here – not even a few days ago a family member made a comment about how I should be at home more. This was hard to hear especially when we are doing our very best to have me complete a book over summer AND still spend time with the children. Comments and judgement are never going away so you may as well do something you want regardless!
Lastly, I also recommend doing something that makes your soul sing a little. This was one of the first things I learnt in business; physically doing an action that is in line with what is in your heart.
I really love gorgeous stationery. I know there are so many devices today that can do a similar job but I still love it and like imagining how I would set my office up with it. So one afternoon last week when I was looking after Smushie we checked out Kikki.K stationery! This is actually not a sponsored post just in case you are wondering this is a post because it made a real difference to me. Walking into Kikki.K with Smushie, seeing his childish delight at the books, allowing myself to just enjoy the stationery, it helped me to put my fears aside.
Spending time there, I found it impossible not to get inspired seeing all the beautiful planners, journals, helpful checklists and diaries and to start dreaming of the year ahead. Plus the store even had a great coloring table so I could spend even longer pouring through all the stationery goodies while Master-nearly-two was also having a good time!
I do like using planners and dairies to help keep organised (yes am still a pen and paper type creator!) and found a great life planner. This was a short journal full of inspiration quotes, places to brain storm and also exercises to help get clear on my priorities for the year. Best of all it was just $7.49 on special!! (check it out here along with out great discounts).
After working through this and checking back in with my dreams, we were able to create the year – I choose my word for the year ‘power’ (this is also something I recommend doing) and now have the entire 12 months planned out with check in points every three months. For my husband and I, planning is key and involves very much fitting in both business, personal and family related goals and important dates – but the planning needs to come from a place of love, acceptance and most of all our dreams.
So for those of you reading this who may be in a similar position, I am not going to ask you I am actually going to beg you – please do something that allows you to keep dreaming. Set your goals, set your plans, but also dream. It maybe like me just walking into a stationery store and getting a little something, walking along the beach or chatting to a trusted friend.
For our dreams matter, and they start in the smallest of ways,
Here is to dreaming big dreams,
xxx Dr Julie Bhosale